Ripple

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Near the beginning of this year, my boyfriend and a group of his colleagues would round each other up on Fridays and make their way to a nearby bar&grill to grab drinks. It started off with just a few of them and over time, went from a handful of guys who work together into a group of friends. The entire process was routine. They would all meet up in cubicle land, find out who was going and who would have to skip out, coordinate the carpooling, and then take turns driving to the bar&grill where they would order monthly draft picks. They would eat peanuts and chuck the shells on the floor, and sometimes, order an appetizer or two to share. Being the girlfriend who is 2000 miles away, this became a regular routine for me and Xoua as I knew that Friday nights were Xoua’s time to be with the guys and my time to do my own thing before the both of us would come together at the end of the night.  

Unfortunately, what typically plays out as a typical Friday night turned into a tragic scenario last week. Yesterday morning, Xoua found out that his friend, Josh, passed away after dropping him and another colleague off to their cars at their workplace parking lot. Josh’s car made multiple flips at the highway entrance next to their workplace. Josh was only 27 years old. Josh was not drunk. He died from the impact of the car accident and nobody from the group had any idea until Monday morning. As you can only imagine, it was a very dark and somber day at work for Xoua and everyone else in the office.

Last night, as Xoua shared his day with me, I could not help but keep the tears from falling as my heart ached for Josh and his family, followed by a glooming cloud of “what ifs” that went through my head. It was an emotionally heavy night as we talked a lot about multiple things that I want to keep private between the two of us… however, one important topic did come up that lead to me wanting to share with story with all of you today.

Xoua brought up the fact that he and his colleague were the last two people that Josh saw alive. This really tugged at my heart as it made me think about my last encounter with the people in my life and how that encounter ended.

Was it good? 
Was it bad? 
Was I upset at them? 
Were they upset at me? 
Was it worth it?

These questions flooded my mind as I would be the first to admit that it is easy to dismiss people who hurt you. It is easy to dismiss people who do things that make you feel betrayed. It is easy to dismiss people who do not make us feel good about ourselves. It is easy to dismiss people without thinking that you may be the last person they talk to or see. And while it is human to be dismissive, it is also human to be intentional about our words and action. It is human to set the small things aside. It is human to forgive. And it is human to be kind.

Although I never met Josh, I feel grateful that the ripples of his life touched mine. Til next time, live, love, laugh, and be kind.


Cathy

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